Verbiage

I am tired of words. Like my trucker friend Nikolai once said after an episode of our boss trying to explain his paycheque to him, “Vords vords, dey explain nothing.  Da more he talk da more I don't know”.  Well I tend to agree with him, and this came to mind shortly after my mother died and my wife and I were privileged to be on a cruise (previously planned).  After several days 'at sea' at end of one grueling social day I came up with this, as typed out on my trusty laptop.  

"Today I have heard endless words duplicated, triplicated and then repeated complete with rabbit trails off in obtuse directions chosen by whoever has mouth open!  I have heard deciphering of schedules, evaluating of staff attitudes, comparisons of this cruise with previous cruises, gossip about fellow church members, health and death of family members, grandchildren's problems in school, possibility of us being relatives as per recent DNA swab, etc, etc, etc.  New friends we meet are treated to portions of stories and/or conversations just completed, and of course I am obliged to listen to those reworkings of the recent history.  Words, words, words."

I do not know why I get so weary of verbiage.  My wife tells me, at least when we are in argumentative mode, that I easily contribute more than my share to this surplus.  Furthermore, a new friend of mine (He does not know me very well!) recently dubbed me as an extrovert - without even consulting with me on said touchy diagnostic!  And, and also I realize our Bible gives a very positive angle on words, eg “In the beginning was the Word, and the Word was with God, and the Word was God” (John 1:1). The very presence of the written Word requires words, first in oral tradition, then early text written in Hebrew, then Aramaic, Greek, and...?  (Enter here a few paragraphs by some scholars I can think of). Words are important in communication, but dammit, words that are a mere expression of restlessness are a vexation to the flesh!

As indicated above, this incident of verbal overload happened shortly after my mom had died.  It also reminds me of the viewing at the funeral home the evening before mom's funeral.  A number of my siblings came to visitation.  Several of them chose not to come - something that still irritates me.  I find their callousness very hard to understand or even tolerate, but I digress.  Standing by the casket, I squirmed with discomfort as several of my siblings indulged their hearty personas to the extent of noisy greetings, hearty hugs, handshakes and even hearty laughs with all who appeared.  Me, I just cried and wanted to cry more, and when that urge went away, I just wanted quiet.   So, choosing a front pew I did just that - sit and think.  Lo and behold, as tho a validation from Above, I gained the comforting presence of my youngest son.  With a little smile he sat down beside me.  I gave his knee a gentle squeeze.  So very nice, he knew my unspoken thoughts.  How can anybody keep yapping when your mother is laying before you in the casket?  I found that noisy verbiage almost as offensive as those of my siblings who did not show up.

So this is perhaps a bit too personal for a blog.   However, I share it here in hope that whoever reads it may understand and respect.  Blog posts in my mind represent a dignified way of expressing thoughts or insights.  Yes? No?   At any rate I am more comfortable posting this here than submitting to Facebook likes or dislikes!  As written elsewhere, my venture back into the trucking world after years of public profile is also a factor.  Privacy eventually became important for this public person - hence my two million miles as a single operator rather than a team driver.  And of course in this particular example there is grief.  I loved my mom so dearly that I did not like her spirit to be sported with.  

  

It is important to be hospitable of spirit. People cruise for many reasons (some because they  have too much money!), and everybody has a unique way of processing and communicating personal needs and agenda.  And the very fact that I was an anonymous passenger on that cruise ship also helped to subside the grief a bit. We are indeed social beings.  We do need one another.  No Man is an Island, said Thomas Merton in the book of that title in 1955.  And of course so says my Bible,  Do not forget to show hospitality to strangers, for by so doing some people have shown hospitality to angels without knowing it. Hebrews 13:2, and also Be kind to one another, tenderhearted forgiving ... as God in Christ has forgiven you.  Ephesians 4:32.

So, patience in the noise, yes.  And hospitality of spirit, yes.  But even so, back to my friend Nikolai,  "Vords, vords."  If you got nothing to say, it's best to just be quiet.