British Bulldog

August 14, 2018

I had not thought this could happen inside my circle of friends and acquaintances.  In my recently retired trucking world it might have, but not here in my community!  I believe I am observing racism – out and out racism, not just a bit of prejudice.  And this not in the deep southern U.S. nor in a school playground somewhere, but right before my eyes among senior citizens in our city of Calgary!  It happens regularly three days a week in the locker room of one of our local swimming pools. 

Last fall I began deep water acquasize classes together with a friend of mine.  Our reason was camaraderie, he recently diagnosed with Parkinson’s and I in need of some routine morning discipline after retirement from my latest occupation.  The acquasize is excellent.  We do it together and we know we both benefit from the discipline three mornings a week. We need each other.

First day in the locker room I also met a little guy, with a scar from his yin yang down there all the way up to his throat, compliments of open-heart surgery some years back.  Kind of friendly, he engages in early small talk – weather, snow on the roof, water temp irregularities, etc.  The acquasize circle kind of waxes and wanes depending on holiday and snowbird wants and wishes.  After all, I am among respectable mostly well-heeled citizens.  Conversation is usually subdued, primary topic with several of us being to double check on commitment to stop at Tim Hortons on the way home. That’s where our freshly exercised fellowship really takes off!

Well, there is one other guy, big belly, clippy English accent, always late, and always haughty.  He will not look at me, and he will not talk to me!  I hear him make brief comments to the little guy and a few others, and then in the pool a group of ladies and a couple of men, also English accents – jokes, smiles, etc.  No attention to the instructor when they get going.  I know now that he is not deaf mute; he just has a well defined circle – or is it a harem?  

I have no need or desire to join that circle.  However, being a relational person I believe in the casual courtesies of hello, good bye, etc.  Double check with my friend Peter; he confirms no conversation also not yet with Mr. Proud.  Then another guy, a Scandinavian, shares he has yet to receive a hello from same.

One day a classroom of elementary students come in, most of them dark skinned, and a cheery articulate dark-skinned teacher supervising locker room instructions to the little boys as teachers are wont to.  Scowl from Mr. English!  A few days later another group of kids. This time a smile!  Kids all around, he almost looks cheery. The reason for persona turnabout?  These kids are white, and this time the teacher is a young Englishman.  A bit of further research confirms my growing suspicion. They are from one of Calgary’s elite private schools!

Then it strikes me; all my conversations to date have been with the Khams and the Jens and the Chows and John and Peter  – probably Dutch or German or Chinese or Mennonite or ...?   Mr Haughty speaks not to any of these - only to those he deems worthy.  Mr Little Guy qualifies kind of, probably because they recognize same accent from same town in the UK, so the occasional grunt is warranted.

Our daughter has a best friend, also English, and they attended the High School next door to this swimming pool.  From the stories I heard, Laura pushed against the edges of her parents’ and her grandmother's comfort zone and became best buds with this interesting good looking Metis girl who had been adopted by Mennonite parents.  By now, twenty-five years later, their friendship has weathered the social mores, the class wars, the wedding of one of them (maid of honour the other one), education, careers and the birth of Laura’s two children. Those two kids love their mom and their dad (also adopted in an interesting family situation) and Auntie Adrianne.  As the minister who officiated at their wedding, I delight to observe the possibilities when friendships blossom even through stereotypical fences.  Friendships can do amazing things.  This is how I grew up; this is the way my children have grown up.  We relate with people no matter who or where from.  Galatians 3:28 says it clearly,  There is no longer Jew or Greek, no longer slave or free, ... male and female, for all of you are one in Christ Jesus (NRSV). This was practiced, even if not much preached in our home.  And I suppose this explains my indignation at this prude.

Very likely this man is stuck in the colonial mindset.  Maybe his bride is dead by now, or possibly PTSD or some war time trauma?  Maybe he thinks we are all Nazis.  Or maybe he just never learned that this country of Canada has room for more than our Commonwealth of Nations.  His day is coming.  He will soon die and the one who takes his place in this neighbourhood will likely not be from that English village, and may well be from Jordan, or Syria, or Russia, or maybe Baltimore, MD.  British exclusivity is over!