Across the Great Divide

I cannot help but notice the growing number of gender identity pronouns appearing after people’s names these days, especially in professional profiles or email signoffs.  To see a longtime friend, male or female, or someone in a long familiar position like church pastor or teacher or other professional suddenly show up with – he/him, she/her, she/they, etc. is kind of new, to say the least. Google tells me this is not self identification; it is a tool to assist in communication with others. "These pronouns may or may not match their gender expression (how the person dresses, behaves, or looks)." The pronoun help can be a good clarification when introducing oneself to another. So far this new awareness - new courtesy - still gets me a little skittish. So this guy in front of me; is s/he maybe a woman? Also I'm nervous about some humor that might slip out my tongue one of these days. Dare I ever say …/it? Oops, I just did. 😏 Hope I won’t receive a tongue lashing from a few acquaintances who come to mind. It’s a new touchy subject.

Touchy. So is the recent upsurge of freedom convoys, vaxers/antivaxers, rednecks/bluenecks, binary/woke, etc. alongside longtime standbys on the great divide like conservative/liberal in the political realm, political rallies, and of course noisier versions like picket lines, demonstrations, pride parades, black lives matter, idle no more, anti war protests, etc. etc. etc. Very likely all of these will be well documented in the media again in next several weeks, to wit: National Indigenous Day June 21 and Canada Day July 1. Most of the strong opinions (polar opposites actually) are the ones that show up among people almost the same, within same churches, same neighborhoods, same families. It used to be said that the two topics to avoid at family meals are religion or politics. The Christian truism, “Sometimes it’s hardest to show Jesus’ love to those who are closest,” rings true here also, even for those who don’t much care about reference to Jesus’ love.

The ‘touchies’ seem to be expanding. Ironically, as we become ever more educated and aware or awake (woke as per latest slang), new possibilities of social angst come along. I feel it especially in the foyers or lobbies going into or coming out of churches and assemblies now that post-corona meetings are resuming in-person format again. We are now in a cautionary social search, worse than before the pandemic; seems to be a fearfulness to speak without becoming inappropriate or perhaps even hitting the offense button or maybe violating a confidence somewhere. At the beginning of covid-19 way back two and a half years ago, I remember posting some blogs with a clear hope that we might recognize the cause(s) of pandemics like this and learn some lifestyle lessons, make a few adjustments and emerge a wiser and better socialized people. That was a bit idealistic!

So, a new day, new communication challenges, new anxieties. Even as I raise a slightly cynical eyebrow at new requirements of ‘talking right’ I try not to be simplistic or narrow-minded. [In fact, as per a book I am presently reading I am humbled to learn that some Indigenous languages are committed to a recognition of the "spirit" in a word rather than merely male - female designation. Very important awareness. The linguist in me has more things to learn. 😋 #ftn1] Evenso, on with topic at hand. Even if I try not to be offensive like use wrong pronoun, what if I get it wrong? Google has the solution. Just offer a quick apology and move along. I appreciate the pointer. However, my thinker, my inner spirit, knows there is more, something unavoidable for all of us - even pre-inclusivity and certainly more than two and a half years ago! It has been there forever, and it is well addressed in the Bible. Romans 3:23 says it like this, "for all have sinned and fall short of the glory of God" and also in same chapter  "There is no one righteous, not even one" (:10). This may appear a bit gloomy here (sin is not a woke topic any more), but I take it as totally good news for all of us, with no straight, homo, bi or queer, colonialist, indigenous, eastern or western conditionals or excuses. While latest efforts are made to help us be more civilized and accommodating of one another in interpersonal relationships, this reminder of our basic equality in the sight of God is quite reassuring, adding good perspective to topic at hand. 

How important is it that we signal non-binary messages in email sign-offs? Is it an impression we give or is it a signal of presence? Really we are just threescore and ten (plus or minus a few) years of the lifecycle and why the scarey preoccupation with self?  I remember as a seminary student in the 1970s, women's lib came upon us. It appeared something like a new 'discovery' by some scholarly students and academics and suddenly my essay bibliographies needed to include names like Schoeffler-Fiorenza, Ruether and other notables in order to appear credible. It became not only required reading, but a required awareness as my education moved on into clinical settings both in congregations and health care institutions. Even as some fresh theology was being developed a new appreciation for ‘the feminine’ in pastoral ministry became a new and a positive discovery (See my recent Easter blog about women at the empty tomb and women in ministry, “Through Those Doors,” April 30).

Among it all, now from this my later vantage, as even more pronouns are needed to self identify and as I read about and participate in ongoing faith fellowship and ceremonies, I cannot but make reference to a magazine I have received free of charge forever - one of those freebies I signed up for when I was a young pastor and it just keeps on coming, PTL! 😌 Ministry: International Journal for Pastors (Silver Springs, MD: Seventh Day Adventist Church, May 2022) latest issue just appeared in my mailbox yesterday. Lead article entitled “No Limits” written with absolute inattention to gender neutral pronouns and very masculine God language, Jerry N. Page writes about what has been non-negotiable in his 50 years of ministry - humility. Citing illustration after illustration of seemingly no-winner impasses within his career, he testifies to the need to tend first and foremost to Jesus. Not only the example of Jesus, but the experience of Jesus. “If you would be a gospel minister,” says he, “tend first to your relationship with the One whose allegiance you claim.”  He quotes from James, one of the disciples of Jesus become apostle, “God resists the proud, but gives grace to the humble. Therefore, submit to God. Resist the devil and he will flee from you. Draw near to God and He will draw near to you…. Humble yourselves in the sight of the Lord, and He will lift you up” (4:6-10).  Interestingly - providentially? - my devotional reading on this day also was from same chapter of James, just a few verses prior. It leans right into it, “God yearns jealously for the spirit that he has made to dwell in us…. God resists the proud, but gives grace to the humble (:5-6). Something very soothing and contemporary about the invitation to be connected with the Eternal. No, this magazine does not yet read or appear as an outdated publication.

Enough said, for this day at least. New days and new trends may be upon us. Even as we seek to be appropriate and contemporary in all our pronouns, I am thankful for the One who has known me and continues to know me just as I am. 🎝♪ ♫

1. Braiding Sweetgrass, Robin Wall Kimmerer (Minneapolis: Milkweed Editions, 2013, p.56).

 

Kids With Manners

I had an interesting learning experience this weekend. My wife’s sister and husband were in Calgary to watch some kids’ hockey. Their son and his young eleven year-old were coming together with a whole hockey team to compete in a weekend round robin tournament. It was kind of a rare occasion for us, especially with our grandchildren heavily involved in all things Ontario, so ... promise of a unique special weekend for us. We were happy to spectate my very longtime favorite sport even if only at kids level. 

Now here was the surprise, the unanticipated pleasure. Although my almost daily hockey diet includes some of the world’s best like Edmonton Oilers and Colorado Avalanche, I immediately became fascinated by the very good hockey being played right before our eyes. These kids know how to skate! They have had some coaching, know where to pass the puck and occasionally score goals! I began to enthuse, verbalizing my appreciation for the quality of play I was watching; not so big a deal seemingly to my brother-in-law and the spectators around me, obviously parents and/or other relatives of other players more interested in whether son or daughter was playing to capacity and whether their team was winning or not! Right, I remember that too. My dad always had a few suggestions after my hockey games too!

My fascination with the tournament nonetheless continued into next day; we watched two games and then participated with some of the families in some evening swimming pool fun at the team hotel. My good opinion of these players continued. They spoke politely to adults, answered questions clearly and of course appreciated comments coming from this old grandpa-type. They were so eager to talk about their game. One boy shared his sadness about his goal not having counted, which I remembered seeing too, apparently one of their players in goal crease. It was an error of the referee, and I so sympathized with him 😌. 

Now my learning experience. As most of my readers know by now my thinker usually kicks in. I was impressed not only by the quality of on-ice hockey, but the clear eyes and respectful conversation of the whole group. I confess I have become a bit inattentive to kids sports in the last number of years, a bit dismissive possibly because these activities are accessible only for kids with rich parents. That is true, but full credit must go to these parents of means who invest in the required discipline of early bedtimes, early get-ups, practicing, listening to coaches, and the huge miracle of teamwork. These are valuable life lessons so important these days. If they do not learn it in organized sports their wonderful energy can waste away in front of televisions or video games. These are probably the only ones who make it to professional sport (unfortunately).

Needless to say the age of these kids was a bit of a gimme. Eleven year-olds are in that prepubescent age where the comments and opinion of adults are still quite important to them. It was such a pleasure to be in presence of kids and parents (and grandparents) obviously on same page on that one. Looking back at a considerable stretch of parenting I am under no illusions of course - and neither are the readers here - but there is a sizable Life lesson available for us all. Once upon a time many years ago I was a Bible School student, and one of the Bible verses assigned and duly memorized comes to mind. My brain has it in the old King James Version, but the New International Version puts it like this. Even with slightly changed linguistics I like it a lot.

Start children off on the way they should go, and even when they are old they will not turn from it (Proverbs 22:6).

And about those professional teams referenced above. Sigh! The better team won and will go on to Stanley Cup finals. Sigh again. 

Death the Omnipresent

For everything there is a season, and a time for every matter under heaven:

a time to be born, and a time to die;
a time to plant, and a time to pluck up what is planted; (Ecclesiastes 3:1-2)

  

There are several posts in my short history of blogging already addressing the subject of death. I have an inclination to 'talk plain' about inevitable things; better than avoiding what's right before us anyway.  At this point of the life-cycle it's kind of natural, although not everyone agrees - too morbid or negative, or something like that. I come by it honestly. My dad, when he was about my current age, started every conversation with an obituary report. This would be followed by a lineage explanation or anecdotes from that person's life - often quite interesting (he was a good story-teller) but often me wondering is there anything else to talk about? Even beyond the physical reporting, I maintain it's good for body, mind, and spirit to breathe and speak freely about death. Recent readings and retirement experiences for me have also provided some new discoveries from the teachings of Jesus, displaying his attitude to his own imminent death and that followed by advice to followers, “Whoever wants to be my disciple must deny themselves and take up their cross and follow me" (Mark 8:34). Death therefore is undeniable even for Jesus' followers (John 10:10). Ironically the death of Jesus for me of late has become a lively talking point with some of my friends outside the Christian faith. Why would our ultimate teacher (prophet?) go down to death? That's a tough concept not only for Muslims but also for modern spiritually woke type Christians. This is on my mind as I attend or participate in funerals and celebrations of life these days. It's an essential topic as today's generations deal with end-of-life service preferences.

Celebrations of Life are the latest thing. I have just emerged from another one, this a very heartfelt occasion of grief and tribute to an ever so loving wife, mother, friend, suddenly taken by cancer. It was a grand occasion full of love and tears, her family having given excellent attention to details of the event, and very grateful for all who showed on a beautiful afternoon in the backyard of the home she and her husband had built not only for their family but a haven for their church and community. The children, obviously in grief and somewhat bamboozled and confused by us all, hosted a lovely celebration climaxed by a balloon release. They tried hard to incorporate the spirit, the life and the friends and relatives which they knew must be included here. Fascinating to me was an undeniable ‘religion awareness’ which permeated the celebration even though the organizers had not planned for it. It came out in the laughter, the amens, and the spontaneous sing-alongs to some folksy gospel singers. This was, however, not a funeral.

About two years ago I attended a 'different but similar' celebration, this for a relative of mine who was ‘guaranteed’ a place in heaven, so his children put on a “Going to Heaven” party, they also slightly strange to the faith part of the party they were hosting, complete with A&W Buddy Burgers carefully Corona-wrapped for us all! Some of the sounds and images both cheesy and quite touching, especially the ones delineating the remarkable grandpa personality. This occasion, even with many references to God and some good guidance from another relative who happens to be a funeral director, also was party! It is the day - kind of reminded me of my children singing “This is the Day” for my wife and I and many guests at our 50^th wedding anniversary. Party on!

In my previous writings about death, I have come out making a case for funeral rather than these 'celebrations.' Even as many are excusing funerals as ‘old fashioned’ because they do not adequately represent the deceased nor the people grieving, my point has been that this new option - these celebrations of life - are so accommodating of all faith or nonfaith vantages that they can easily become dependent on the celebrators, the performers moreso than the life just lived and her in presence of almighty God. So it becomes a party. I have no problem with parties, but there is a time and a place for everything. Seems to me the occasion of death requires attention to that which is beyond - and indeed can be a life-generating occasion of faith, celebrating both death and life. I wrote a blog about that a few years ago as I was beginning to observe the emerging trend. I offer a piece from that earlier post.  

Obituaries [often] contain paragraph after paragraph of the deceased's career and personality and worldwide travels and hobbies, but hardly a reference to God, to faith commitment or possibly church or other spiritual information even if committed or at least nominal Christians.  In years gone by this religious info was the template of an obituary.  If today's celebrations of life ignore the reality of the spiritual or the afterlife when physical death has just occurred, it is a telling omission. So, this is my case for funerals, not because I am old fashioned or afraid of change. Especially as a pandemic scares the living dickens out of those afraid to die, I posit that the funeral gives better attention to that larger possibility for anyone "with ears to hear" (Matthew 11:15). Funerals of course do not need to be merely a churchy heaven or hell litany. No, regardless of faith or unfaith of the deceased, funerals are the right way to acknowledge life, ahem, especially because the end has just been reached! When I die I hope it will not just be about me.  I will already be "Safe in the arms of Jesus" and that is best represented by a ritual of scriptures, prayers and hymns. AND if deemed desirable there may also be pictures and stories and party at the fellowship lunch (if Corona permits). A funeral is a holy celebration of life (“The need for Funerals,” November 22, 2020).

That was my thoughts taking shape a couple years back. Turns out I said it as I still sees it! Death awareness offers the best perspective for funerals or celebrations of life. Death awareness also is the best way to live life. I remember a conversation once upon a time in the southern U.S. during my trucking years. A driver was speaking with bravado about his approach to life and death. "I have a gun in my truck," said he. "I don't carry a gun," said I, "and I feel safer going about my business without a gun." His initial skepticism turned into agreement as this Canadian trucker explained to him (and a roomful of listeners) that my unarmed truck may make me vulnerable to die, but less likelihood of initiating or perpetuating threatening incidents, and therefore a better and safer way to live my life! It was a good conversation. Nobody took offense.

Generosity and Inequity

Do not be hard-hearted or tightfisted toward your needy neighbor (Deuteronomy 15:7b).

Several years ago my wife and I entered the shop of our neighborhood vacuum cleaner dealer/repair shop. After the cheery greetings we presented him with our latest project which needed a bit of his expertise. It was a well dated machine which had received some abuse; children of our church's Syrian refugee family trying to 'help around the house.' He responded with no hesitation. “I fix it for free.” His response to our grateful surprise was like this. “Oh I must do it. This is time to give Zakat [alms], and I do it if I want to enter heaven.” His cheerful friendly smile clearly confirmed his intentions. Hmm, this was just a bit more than what we had been thinking at that particular moment. Needless to say, we accepted his charity and it is now a part of our ongoing neighborly relationship with him. My fascination with this continuing friendship is that it seems to include an understanding that charity works best if we work at it together. There's a satisfaction in supporting this local businessman.

This last Sunday we had a Sunday School lesson in our church entitled, “Keeping Up with God’s Generosity.” It is based on the Apostle Paul’s letter to the Corinthians, including the famous catchphrase quoted almost universally, “God loves a cheerful giver” (2 Cor. 9:7b). I cannot but think of the truthfulness of this lesson, nicely perched at the end of a series “Disciples and Stewards” (MennoMedia.org/SL). I especially appreciate this series coming along after that nice experience with our Muslim neighbor. The very good title gives pause for thinking way way way beyond some thoughts we might have about how much of our hard-earned salaries and pension benefits should we be giving to church these days! Stewardship is a subject no longer contained within the narrow confines of me and my little budget. It is about me in all the world which I am a part of and which is all around me. Yes, all the world!

Both the Qur'an and the Bible’s Old Testament teach the importance of the ‘collection’ or gathering of funds for the needy, not as an occasion of patronage, but of tithing. Patronage was the Greco-Roman way; it maintained the power and prestige of the patron through giving of gifts, granting prestige (nowadays often advertised as sponsors) to the patron and of course material assistance to the needy one. Tithing, on other hand, was more a matter of redistribution of that which belongs to Allah – to God. Within Islam it is mandatory, the third pillar of their faith requirements (obviously why our Muslim friend put it his way). Within Christianity it is not exactly a legalism, but in fact a moral responsibility of anyone who claims to be a follower of Jesus the Christ. I love the way it’s put in the Bible, “ ¹³Our desire is not that others might be relieved while you are hard pressed, but that there might be equality. ¹⁴ At the present time your plenty will supply what they need, so that in turn their plenty will supply what you need. The goal is equality, ¹⁵ as it is written: “The one who gathered much did not have too much, and the one who gathered little did not have too little” (2 Cor.8:13-15). Stewardship, almsgiving, tithing, potlatches, whatever we may call it in different faith traditions, in my mind is best understood as a sharing or redistribution of wealth, rather than merely helping the poor. As a Christian of the socialist persuasion I find this to be a consistent way of life for people of faith. See also Acts 2:44-45.

The topic of stewardship, although well endowed with many points of view and political persuasions and denominational variations including professional consultants, may not be quite as daunting as often appears. The included subjects of charities and generosity, of socioeconomic realities and humanitarianism become considerably easier if taken from the vantage of God being the owner. It all belongs to our Creator God and it most certainly is not a matter of us Christians being the fixer-uppers. It's a matter of participating with all of God's creation including the Indigenous peoples. Koodos to many Christian churches who have begun the practice of beginning worship services with a land acknowledgment. 

During these last two years it has been my privilege to participate as an Interfaith representative in our Calgary Interfaith Council. While the tasks and challenges of an interfaith organization may seem monumental and facilitated by very skilled and educated persons, I also note that the stress level there seems less than within administration and leadership responsibilities of my Christian denomination, and those perhaps even less than the details and constraints within local congregations. Speaking to representatives from within other faith communities, lo and behold, that apparently also true there! Strange camaraderie and information often gained when hobnobbing with others! The devil is in the details, so I once heard. Also among Christians is a similar saying, "It's hardest to show Jesus' love to those who are closest." [One little proviso here which can be understood as an exception or confirmation of the above. A recent 'neighborly' Interfaith project included collecting and sharing fast food "Gift Cards" with the homeless. This well-intentioned 'collect' yielded many gift cards and they are oh-so convenient for both the giver and the receiver! This can become kind of a mechanical encounter 'with the least of these' (hello, thank you, good-bye), or it may provide excellent occasional opportunities to hear the story of others within our communities. See one of my last year's blogs, "Hey What's Your Name," April 15, 2021]

Oft-times the things which seem most overwhelming from local perspective (like how are we going to make budget in this post-corona season? or how get people to serve on committees? etc.) actually are probably less daunting if looked at from farther out. In other words it's a good idea to ask the occasional question, what is it we're stressing about? 😏 So on stewardship topic, why not look at it as God's generosity, ever present, in season and out of season, and yes available to all and that means all faith communities. 

From this larger vantage I see the tithes and offerings that I contribute in my local church as a part of my relationship with the neighbor next door, whom I know to also be within God's creation. That in turn provides opportunity to be recipient of the neighbors' charity to me, which in turn contributes to our learnings of a great big wonderful God, possibly even sharing in the experience of our God. Within God’s world we are privileged to be givers and receivers.

In the beginning God…(Genesis 1:1) …and… I am the Alpha and the Omega, the First and the Last, the Beginning and the End (Revelation 22:13).