Death the Omnipresent

For everything there is a season, and a time for every matter under heaven:

a time to be born, and a time to die;
a time to plant, and a time to pluck up what is planted; (Ecclesiastes 3:1-2)

  

There are several posts in my short history of blogging already addressing the subject of death. I have an inclination to 'talk plain' about inevitable things; better than avoiding what's right before us anyway.  At this point of the life-cycle it's kind of natural, although not everyone agrees - too morbid or negative, or something like that. I come by it honestly. My dad, when he was about my current age, started every conversation with an obituary report. This would be followed by a lineage explanation or anecdotes from that person's life - often quite interesting (he was a good story-teller) but often me wondering is there anything else to talk about? Even beyond the physical reporting, I maintain it's good for body, mind, and spirit to breathe and speak freely about death. Recent readings and retirement experiences for me have also provided some new discoveries from the teachings of Jesus, displaying his attitude to his own imminent death and that followed by advice to followers, “Whoever wants to be my disciple must deny themselves and take up their cross and follow me" (Mark 8:34). Death therefore is undeniable even for Jesus' followers (John 10:10). Ironically the death of Jesus for me of late has become a lively talking point with some of my friends outside the Christian faith. Why would our ultimate teacher (prophet?) go down to death? That's a tough concept not only for Muslims but also for modern spiritually woke type Christians. This is on my mind as I attend or participate in funerals and celebrations of life these days. It's an essential topic as today's generations deal with end-of-life service preferences.

Celebrations of Life are the latest thing. I have just emerged from another one, this a very heartfelt occasion of grief and tribute to an ever so loving wife, mother, friend, suddenly taken by cancer. It was a grand occasion full of love and tears, her family having given excellent attention to details of the event, and very grateful for all who showed on a beautiful afternoon in the backyard of the home she and her husband had built not only for their family but a haven for their church and community. The children, obviously in grief and somewhat bamboozled and confused by us all, hosted a lovely celebration climaxed by a balloon release. They tried hard to incorporate the spirit, the life and the friends and relatives which they knew must be included here. Fascinating to me was an undeniable ‘religion awareness’ which permeated the celebration even though the organizers had not planned for it. It came out in the laughter, the amens, and the spontaneous sing-alongs to some folksy gospel singers. This was, however, not a funeral.

About two years ago I attended a 'different but similar' celebration, this for a relative of mine who was ‘guaranteed’ a place in heaven, so his children put on a “Going to Heaven” party, they also slightly strange to the faith part of the party they were hosting, complete with A&W Buddy Burgers carefully Corona-wrapped for us all! Some of the sounds and images both cheesy and quite touching, especially the ones delineating the remarkable grandpa personality. This occasion, even with many references to God and some good guidance from another relative who happens to be a funeral director, also was party! It is the day - kind of reminded me of my children singing “This is the Day” for my wife and I and many guests at our 50^th wedding anniversary. Party on!

In my previous writings about death, I have come out making a case for funeral rather than these 'celebrations.' Even as many are excusing funerals as ‘old fashioned’ because they do not adequately represent the deceased nor the people grieving, my point has been that this new option - these celebrations of life - are so accommodating of all faith or nonfaith vantages that they can easily become dependent on the celebrators, the performers moreso than the life just lived and her in presence of almighty God. So it becomes a party. I have no problem with parties, but there is a time and a place for everything. Seems to me the occasion of death requires attention to that which is beyond - and indeed can be a life-generating occasion of faith, celebrating both death and life. I wrote a blog about that a few years ago as I was beginning to observe the emerging trend. I offer a piece from that earlier post.  

Obituaries [often] contain paragraph after paragraph of the deceased's career and personality and worldwide travels and hobbies, but hardly a reference to God, to faith commitment or possibly church or other spiritual information even if committed or at least nominal Christians.  In years gone by this religious info was the template of an obituary.  If today's celebrations of life ignore the reality of the spiritual or the afterlife when physical death has just occurred, it is a telling omission. So, this is my case for funerals, not because I am old fashioned or afraid of change. Especially as a pandemic scares the living dickens out of those afraid to die, I posit that the funeral gives better attention to that larger possibility for anyone "with ears to hear" (Matthew 11:15). Funerals of course do not need to be merely a churchy heaven or hell litany. No, regardless of faith or unfaith of the deceased, funerals are the right way to acknowledge life, ahem, especially because the end has just been reached! When I die I hope it will not just be about me.  I will already be "Safe in the arms of Jesus" and that is best represented by a ritual of scriptures, prayers and hymns. AND if deemed desirable there may also be pictures and stories and party at the fellowship lunch (if Corona permits). A funeral is a holy celebration of life (“The need for Funerals,” November 22, 2020).

That was my thoughts taking shape a couple years back. Turns out I said it as I still sees it! Death awareness offers the best perspective for funerals or celebrations of life. Death awareness also is the best way to live life. I remember a conversation once upon a time in the southern U.S. during my trucking years. A driver was speaking with bravado about his approach to life and death. "I have a gun in my truck," said he. "I don't carry a gun," said I, "and I feel safer going about my business without a gun." His initial skepticism turned into agreement as this Canadian trucker explained to him (and a roomful of listeners) that my unarmed truck may make me vulnerable to die, but less likelihood of initiating or perpetuating threatening incidents, and therefore a better and safer way to live my life! It was a good conversation. Nobody took offense.