Retirement does interesting things to us. One of the things I have discovered in the last several years is that a certain style of living just comes with you no matter what your age. Longtime psychologists like Erik Erikson[i] and recent theologians like Richard Rohr's[ii] stages of life notwithstanding, there are some things that are a given. These are as natural as the DNA which may determine color of skin, shape of nose, or type of hair you have – or don’t have! My style of living has always and continues to include an affinity with down-and-out people. How one lives with an affinity makes for some more 'thinker material.'
An affinity, so it seems to me, is not something to work at or try to learn. It's just there, or else comes very naturally! At best I can identify my affinity as
something I observed in my dad in how he related to his younger brother. Dad's youngest brother broke all the rules.
Within their Mennonite Old Colony belief system which included his older sisters
and brothers who participated in churchy auswanderungs to safe
pioneering places like Mexico or LaCrete or Fort St John, this brother joined
the air force! He signed up for reasons of wanderlust, probably no more
patriotic to his country than any of his siblings. My dad was a diligent hard working farmer,
him and mom raising their large brood on our dairy farm. After the war our
adventuring uncle would come along and regale us impressionable farm boys with all kinds of interesting tales of adventure. Dad would listen too, but I could tell by look in his eye that he knew
a large amount of this to be considerably embellished b.s. Already weathered by
years of experience with this kid brother, dad would nonetheless treat him kindly, even offering our place as temporary abode while uncle sorted out
marriage and family and job or unemployment issues, which was common lot for
many soldiers now looking for what to do next.
I too have a heart for the ones at the edge. Always an awareness during my years of pastoral ministry and to this day I naturally notice the homeless guy(s) occasionally sleeping in a corner of McDonald’s or other fast food joints. I do not pity, in fact even recognize my inner chagrin at possible bad choices that may have led to this circumstance, but if eye contact available I say hello, and even some conversation if there is interest. I believe there is a considerable variety in all of us created beings rich or poor, and it is inappropriate to paint in categorical brush strokes. Anyway, a caring attitude, which may be a DNA feature, a Psalm 139 feature "For you created my inmost being" (:13), may also be nurtured by how one grows up (Heredity? Environment? A related topic).
And it may be recognized by others. I am a member of Calgary Interfaith Council. Each year we have some sort of charity drive. Almost by default, several times I have been handed a bunch of ‘gift cards’ to hand out at my discretion to any homeless types whom I may deem as appropriate recipients. This comes simply because the group has recognized a certain connectedness without ever having made a pitch for it.
I suppose it is because of an affinity for people at the edge that I find myself thinking a little more about some words related to that (the thinker again)! Charity and love are
both translations for the Greek word agape. Seems to me that the charity version is not popular any more, maybe because everybody is seeking to point out the love and the
inclusiveness of God, rather than fearfulness (eg 1 Corinthians 13:12 the old King James
Version reads “now faith, hope, and charity” and the New
King James and every version thereafter “now faith, hope, and love”). It
appears to me that charity is a more circumstantial value-laden word than love.
Not being a linguist nor scholar of languages, I resist going into an analysis, but this does not keep me from rendering an opinion! 😏
My opinion is that
charity, even though a nice word, has sort of a limiting connotation. I
remember once upon a time as a young seminarian in 1978 I traveled with my
longsuffering wife and our three children all the way from Saskatoon, SK to
Wichita, KS pulling our tent trailer behind her brother's van to
participate in Mennonite World Conference and gain one final course credit towards my graduation from seminary. We had a/c in the van but not in the trailer and July temperatures hovered around 100 Fahrenheit. We did not have sufficient funds for campground fees. A fellow seminarian from the
area offered their place as a parking spot for trailer and kids. His wife was
not pleased with his hospitality towards this beggarly Canadian. We
encountered a few hail storms during the next two weeks – my wife enduring this 'holiday' each day spending much time with the kids at a local swimming
pool while I attended classes in an air-conditioned college amphitheater! Oh shame. The two week stay ended amiably, but for us the
difference between charity and love became quite obvious. In this example
charity might be described as love under obligation.
For the last several
years I have become acquainted with refugees, as a part of retirement
committee work (things we do to assure ourselves we're still useful). Many
refugees are affected by PTSD and deeply connected to political and family
circumstances ‘back home.’ Several of these are now friends amiably
unreservedly declared – not quite to die for, but almost. 😐 In due time I have come to realize
every single encounter, social or worship or business, includes a reference to
certain hundreds or thousands of dollars which would accomplish this or that
project. Even a hint of promise to ‘look into it’ is followed up next visit with
“did you talk to…?” These are in fact very convincing concerns presented to someone
(me) in this country not necessarily well-to-do, but obviously with good connections here there and everywhere. The irony is that my connections,
namely my friends, the people of my church or my denomination become cautious,
“what's he up to now?” some even quickly looking the other way when I come
along.
Obviously there is a far
reach to the topic of love, and a little tightening of the nerves when one thinks charity. There is another angle on this which deserves a
hearing. I shall present something of that in next blog. As I think ahead to
that, I am reminded of a scripture which once impressed itself on me in a Greek
Readings class in seminary. Also it brings to mind a dear professor (RIP Dr.
Gertrude Roten) who impersonated its very meaning. There is no fear in love.
But perfect love drives out fear (1 John 4:18a). Thinking about this, even
as I continue in relationship with new friends and with old friends, I
hope and pray that we may learn some more about charity .. and love.
[i]
Erik H. Erikson, Life Cycle Completed (New York: W.W.Norton, 1998).
[ii]
Richard Rohr, Falling Upward: A Spirituality for the Two Halves of Life
(Hoboken, NJ: Jossey-Bass, 2011).
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