Train Up a Child

“Could we have a little conversation with you?” This was the greeting of two young ladies approaching the people beside me waiting for next Commuter Train. Not at all conversant in English, nor much interested in this forward approach, these people exercised their right to bad manners and just walked away! I was next, perhaps because of a friendlier look on my face.  “Hi could we have a few words with you?” “Certainly,” was my reply; then asked if I might have first question, "Are you Jehovah’s Witnesses?” Along with name tags it was quickly clarified, “No, we're from Church of Jesus Christ of Latter Day Saints.” “Oh, I have some friends right here in this neighborhood who are LDS.” I could tell by look in their eyes this was a good twist for them. In short order a brief conversation ensued, but short circuited by my C-Train arriving. As I took my seat in the train car I was glad for the positive connect with these well-meaning young people. From this Calgarian they had heard a word of appreciation for ‘their people’ coordinating and doing most of the service projects in our community. It was brief and it was pleasant.

I am becoming increasingly acquainted with the LDS church. Many years ago I ‘studied’ them in Bible School in a class entitled ‘Cults’, and over the years have learned considerably more, either by rumor or by personal relationships. The rumors are usually gossipy and the relationships are stellar! During my years of college and seminary I became engrained in biblical, historical and practical education and that became the focus in my ministry of pastoral leadership among ‘my people’ always aware of 'those people' same as a considerable populace of others who kind of fade into the background while one is tending the local scenes. 😔 As fate would have had it (providence?) due to some health issues, the last twenty years of my working life were spent as a long haul trucker on the highways and byways of Canada and U.S. I testify this was a furthering of friendships and neighborliness among all of those ‘others’ - no holds barred, including an occasional graffiti “Welcome back elder ---” painted on barns beside the I-15 traveling through Utah. My thinker is on and my spirit open, probably reason for my hospitality to the young missionary ladies bothering C-Train passengers here in my city.

A few weeks ago, in a discussion about some of today’s societal trends, I heard from one of the participants about a recent study which indicates today's young people are interested in faith but not the church. The reason, I heard, is because they see no evidence of living faith among their parents or others even if involved in church leadership – no heroes of the faith, if you will. Ouch! This is us. Our actions have been speaking more loudly than our words. Lack of attentiveness to our children because we have been busy with careers and livelihoods, to the extent that we have not tended well  to our carefully planned nests of two or three! Interesting, I grew up in a family of twelve and my parents paid lots of attention to us (There is some opinion among my siblings about that. Apparently this eldest son asked so many questions and had so many opinions that he commanded a little more than his share 😏)! Actually in farm families attention was more than talk. It included chores with ‘jobs’ doled out to each one of us. And we also got play, lots of it, both on our farmyard and at school, but always after the work was done. Even some evening extracurricular was allowed once we were endowed with a driver’s license and in good enough grace to borrow the pickup truck! The reason for this adequate attention was not because of many heart to heart conversations, but because we knew ourselves to be essential in the mode operandi of our farming operation. Maybe it was child labor, but we didn't even know what that was! Each of us was a part of the package.

This was how we baby-boomers grew up, and now growing old. Because of our parents’ post-war diligence, many of us had the good fortune to grow up in large families occupied with purposeful things. Work, play, religion all included as post-war institutions were thriving along with a lifestyle that might be labeled as healthy, along with learning about a colonial God who became increasingly optional as the good life developed. Even as some of us (eg Mennonites, Doukhobors, French Canadian Catholics) still grew up in large families, in urbanizing society the greater need became daycare and after-school supervision while parents were doing the careers. Oh yes, as the good life improved there were also better schools of choice, either Christian or charter. Regardless of tradition or faith allegiances, most career parents by now are ‘driving hockey’ (as the commercial says) with competitions, dance or sport, being the priority weekend activity. 

The irony here is that our children are no longer the workforce, not even around the house. They are now the consumers of extra work for their parents. Parents are now required to be experts in pre-adolescence and adolescent and teenage mood swings, including emergency housing when their young adults have employment problems. Back in Saskatchewan each weekday morning we would run to the road to catch the school bus after doing our allotted farm chores, breakfast wolfed down and lunches packed. Today it remains for parents to deal with whoever did not get up on time, to drive the errant one to school. In my day, if there was a slowpoke, he or she would stay home for the day, help out with extra work, and make sure next morning you got your act together! There are exceptions of course to these generalizations  – some incredible parenting even among today’s good lifers, and also some very shoddy farm management back there! It is within this generational change, however, and even as I acknowledge lots of exceptions, some unique ‘institutional’ observations can be made.

Back to the C-Train missionaries. These two young ladies hailed from the U.S., one from Utah and the other from Arizona, if I remember correctly, duly assigned to ‘intercept’ people in this Canadian city. It is their responsibility as members of the LDS church. These missionary assignments are in locales other than where they grew up, obviously to provide occasion of learning church protocol from supervisors other than parents, and to practise the church 'lines' - rote learning if you will. It is a transition from the home base to places all over the world where these faith communities are located (Recent Conference report indicates 20 new temples worldwide scheduled for construction in 2024). I am fascinated by a faith community which demonstrates both the teaching (didache) and the experience, absolutely essential for Spirit and Body to be in tune. 

My hunch is that Mormonism is an antidote to some of the societal trends described above, which may be why family togetherness is priority in their assemblies and homes. In that environment the high school teenager is being prepared for the important assignment coming after graduation. It comes after baptism and confession of faith (in that order). It reminds me of certain patterns also in our Mennonite communities. Not quite as per ecclesial requirement, but among devout church members there is an understanding that one or two years after graduation would be best spent in a Bible Institute or College – this is usually talked up and supported in families and social groupings of similar mindset, in hopes of course to provide a solid base for further career choices and education thereafter. [Albeit some of these education excursions nowadays are fairly high-end fully funded by well-to-do moms and dads!]

Two scriptures come to mind; similar topic, but with kind of an opposite tug.

Train up a child in the way he should go: and when he is old, he will not depart from it (Proverbs 22:6 KJV).

But Jesus called them unto him, and said, Suffer little children to come unto me, and forbid them not: for of such is the kingdom of God (Luke 18:16 KJV).  

[One little aside. I have chosen the King James Version here with a little smile. For reasons not clear to me, the KJV is ‘sacred text’ among all LDS, perhaps because of 'revealed' similarity to Book of Mormon. Another topic! 😉] Back to topic at hand. "Train up a child" in Proverbs we have that proverbial acceptable wisdom similar to sentiments I have noted above. Luke’s New Testament rendition gives us the 'also requirement' - the loving tone of Jesus rebuking his own disciples for shushing the children. His words are eternally heartwarming. Both texts are overwhelmingly true. There is need for training and instructions, and there is need for the mystery of love -  much room for holy pause here.

I am reminded of a good friend – my cousin actually – recently retired after spending most of his lifetime as an international teacher and latter years as executive director of Mennonite Central Committee Alberta, a worldwide service agency. In a recent blogpost, [i] somewhat unlike his many other posts pontificating about everything else under the sun, he writes about his five-year-old granddaughter Sierra. In a mass observance in their neighboring  Catholic church, and at invitation of the presiding priest, along with many others she was ‘invited’ to deliver her toonie offering up to a box in front of the church. After depositing her coin, she returned to her grandparents, face beaming with sheer joy and pleasure at having done so important a job!

Training up children is indeed a rich combination of learning responsibilities, of participating in family, including family jobs and values. Children need to know the faith claims of their parents. We have reason to think long and hard about that! Training up children also includes the possibility of faith or unfaith coming in strange and wondrous ways. It includes divine possibilities such as the Sierra moments of little children and important things like serving as teenage missionaries on behalf of self? parents? church? or on behalf of Jesus Christ, the one who is available among us all “the way, the truth, and the life” (John 14:6).

---

[i] Janzen, Abe (2024, February 13). “Keeping the Devil in the Hole,” Some Messy Notes. https://wordpress.com.