Of Guests and Hospitality

Yesterday's thanksgiving dinner was on our table at full splendor. Fascinating, only an hour after the guests left, my wife and I were talking, not about the food, but enthusing about the guests. We had so much enjoyed them. Half of our children were here, the other half replaced by very dear friends, also happy for an occasion like this which brought us together. And of course we were grateful that our sons in other provinces were present in spirit. Hearts and table were full!

Decorations were minimal; only one cheery candle at mid-table surrounded by fixings and condiments - and the turkey itself. If I listed the gravies, the veggies, the cranberries and salads this post would become inaccurate and inadequate -  because Verna or one of our daughters would read it and promptly add this and this and this detail to my incomplete list!

Guests and food are strangely intermingled when it comes to occasions like thanksgiving dinners, part and parcel of the same thing. I remember Verna the day before, not worriedly at all, but already in thanksgiving mode, telling me a few things, a few interesting things to take into consideration. You see, one of our guests is on a certain diet which forbids (this and that, I can't remember), and another is gluten-free, so she will fine tune the stuffing to make it acceptable for her, and her other friend doesn’t particularly like this, so she will adjust the recipe there. And of course a regular consideration; one of our daughters is lactose intolerant. No problem, we're getting ready for thanksgiving! Oh, and no alcohol!

The meal was incredible, everybody said so among all the chatter. And also, we did not particularly mention any of these dietary constraints at mealtime. In fact, we sang a table grace with all of us almost on pitch, totally grateful to God.

This year’s thanksgiving seems to have a lesson for us, especially me. A considerable effort is being made in our neighborhood - and perhaps the whole city - “to be thankful” without strings attached. As most of the readers of these blogposts know, I write with a bit of an edge, some call it cynicism. It is my preference for interesting rather than nice. I enjoy “saying it as I sees it” and people keep reading, perhaps out of indulgence. So with this inclination I could now go into a paragraph or two about all these dietary constraints not only at our table but everywhere – grocery stores and restaurants bending backwards and forwards to meet all these requirements by the almighty customer. “Bah humbug, this is yet another face of our entitled society” says this interesting writer. It is flavor favorites medically endorsed, all contributing to imaginary economies with countries at war and a world going hungry. That may be entertaining, a bit overstated and also very old, reminiscent of Scrooge back there, and also an occasional speech from our dad when we were being picky at the dinner table.

Thanksgiving. Perhaps plain old thanksgiving with food and people and the sheer privilege of being together, that is reason enough – at least as effective as all the ‘interesting’ speeches we make to help us be responsible or guilty. To err on the side of celebration, that is the genuine fare from my wife, my life partner, who loves nothing better than to have friends and children and grandchildren all around, and to cook and accommodate to the very best of her ability. “Welcome to our table,” she says. And then the most important people of our life keep on showing up. 

We always thank God for all of you and continually mention you in our prayers. 

1 Thessalonians 1:2