Across the Great Divide

I cannot help but notice the growing number of gender identity pronouns appearing after people’s names these days, especially in professional profiles or email signoffs.  To see a longtime friend, male or female, or someone in a long familiar position like church pastor or teacher or other professional suddenly show up with – he/him, she/her, she/they, etc. is kind of new, to say the least. Google tells me this is not self identification; it is a tool to assist in communication with others. "These pronouns may or may not match their gender expression (how the person dresses, behaves, or looks)." The pronoun help can be a good clarification when introducing oneself to another. So far this new awareness - new courtesy - still gets me a little skittish. So this guy in front of me; is s/he maybe a woman? Also I'm nervous about some humor that might slip out my tongue one of these days. Dare I ever say …/it? Oops, I just did. 😏 Hope I won’t receive a tongue lashing from a few acquaintances who come to mind. It’s a new touchy subject.

Touchy. So is the recent upsurge of freedom convoys, vaxers/antivaxers, rednecks/bluenecks, binary/woke, etc. alongside longtime standbys on the great divide like conservative/liberal in the political realm, political rallies, and of course noisier versions like picket lines, demonstrations, pride parades, black lives matter, idle no more, anti war protests, etc. etc. etc. Very likely all of these will be well documented in the media again in next several weeks, to wit: National Indigenous Day June 21 and Canada Day July 1. Most of the strong opinions (polar opposites actually) are the ones that show up among people almost the same, within same churches, same neighborhoods, same families. It used to be said that the two topics to avoid at family meals are religion or politics. The Christian truism, “Sometimes it’s hardest to show Jesus’ love to those who are closest,” rings true here also, even for those who don’t much care about reference to Jesus’ love.

The ‘touchies’ seem to be expanding. Ironically, as we become ever more educated and aware or awake (woke as per latest slang), new possibilities of social angst come along. I feel it especially in the foyers or lobbies going into or coming out of churches and assemblies now that post-corona meetings are resuming in-person format again. We are now in a cautionary social search, worse than before the pandemic; seems to be a fearfulness to speak without becoming inappropriate or perhaps even hitting the offense button or maybe violating a confidence somewhere. At the beginning of covid-19 way back two and a half years ago, I remember posting some blogs with a clear hope that we might recognize the cause(s) of pandemics like this and learn some lifestyle lessons, make a few adjustments and emerge a wiser and better socialized people. That was a bit idealistic!

So, a new day, new communication challenges, new anxieties. Even as I raise a slightly cynical eyebrow at new requirements of ‘talking right’ I try not to be simplistic or narrow-minded. [In fact, as per a book I am presently reading I am humbled to learn that some Indigenous languages are committed to a recognition of the "spirit" in a word rather than merely male - female designation. Very important awareness. The linguist in me has more things to learn. 😋 #ftn1] Evenso, on with topic at hand. Even if I try not to be offensive like use wrong pronoun, what if I get it wrong? Google has the solution. Just offer a quick apology and move along. I appreciate the pointer. However, my thinker, my inner spirit, knows there is more, something unavoidable for all of us - even pre-inclusivity and certainly more than two and a half years ago! It has been there forever, and it is well addressed in the Bible. Romans 3:23 says it like this, "for all have sinned and fall short of the glory of God" and also in same chapter  "There is no one righteous, not even one" (:10). This may appear a bit gloomy here (sin is not a woke topic any more), but I take it as totally good news for all of us, with no straight, homo, bi or queer, colonialist, indigenous, eastern or western conditionals or excuses. While latest efforts are made to help us be more civilized and accommodating of one another in interpersonal relationships, this reminder of our basic equality in the sight of God is quite reassuring, adding good perspective to topic at hand. 

How important is it that we signal non-binary messages in email sign-offs? Is it an impression we give or is it a signal of presence? Really we are just threescore and ten (plus or minus a few) years of the lifecycle and why the scarey preoccupation with self?  I remember as a seminary student in the 1970s, women's lib came upon us. It appeared something like a new 'discovery' by some scholarly students and academics and suddenly my essay bibliographies needed to include names like Schoeffler-Fiorenza, Ruether and other notables in order to appear credible. It became not only required reading, but a required awareness as my education moved on into clinical settings both in congregations and health care institutions. Even as some fresh theology was being developed a new appreciation for ‘the feminine’ in pastoral ministry became a new and a positive discovery (See my recent Easter blog about women at the empty tomb and women in ministry, “Through Those Doors,” April 30).

Among it all, now from this my later vantage, as even more pronouns are needed to self identify and as I read about and participate in ongoing faith fellowship and ceremonies, I cannot but make reference to a magazine I have received free of charge forever - one of those freebies I signed up for when I was a young pastor and it just keeps on coming, PTL! 😌 Ministry: International Journal for Pastors (Silver Springs, MD: Seventh Day Adventist Church, May 2022) latest issue just appeared in my mailbox yesterday. Lead article entitled “No Limits” written with absolute inattention to gender neutral pronouns and very masculine God language, Jerry N. Page writes about what has been non-negotiable in his 50 years of ministry - humility. Citing illustration after illustration of seemingly no-winner impasses within his career, he testifies to the need to tend first and foremost to Jesus. Not only the example of Jesus, but the experience of Jesus. “If you would be a gospel minister,” says he, “tend first to your relationship with the One whose allegiance you claim.”  He quotes from James, one of the disciples of Jesus become apostle, “God resists the proud, but gives grace to the humble. Therefore, submit to God. Resist the devil and he will flee from you. Draw near to God and He will draw near to you…. Humble yourselves in the sight of the Lord, and He will lift you up” (4:6-10).  Interestingly - providentially? - my devotional reading on this day also was from same chapter of James, just a few verses prior. It leans right into it, “God yearns jealously for the spirit that he has made to dwell in us…. God resists the proud, but gives grace to the humble (:5-6). Something very soothing and contemporary about the invitation to be connected with the Eternal. No, this magazine does not yet read or appear as an outdated publication.

Enough said, for this day at least. New days and new trends may be upon us. Even as we seek to be appropriate and contemporary in all our pronouns, I am thankful for the One who has known me and continues to know me just as I am. 🎝♪ ♫

1. Braiding Sweetgrass, Robin Wall Kimmerer (Minneapolis: Milkweed Editions, 2013, p.56).

 

Kids With Manners

I had an interesting learning experience this weekend. My wife’s sister and husband were in Calgary to watch some kids’ hockey. Their son and his young eleven year-old were coming together with a whole hockey team to compete in a weekend round robin tournament. It was kind of a rare occasion for us, especially with our grandchildren heavily involved in all things Ontario, so ... promise of a unique special weekend for us. We were happy to spectate my very longtime favorite sport even if only at kids level. 

Now here was the surprise, the unanticipated pleasure. Although my almost daily hockey diet includes some of the world’s best like Edmonton Oilers and Colorado Avalanche, I immediately became fascinated by the very good hockey being played right before our eyes. These kids know how to skate! They have had some coaching, know where to pass the puck and occasionally score goals! I began to enthuse, verbalizing my appreciation for the quality of play I was watching; not so big a deal seemingly to my brother-in-law and the spectators around me, obviously parents and/or other relatives of other players more interested in whether son or daughter was playing to capacity and whether their team was winning or not! Right, I remember that too. My dad always had a few suggestions after my hockey games too!

My fascination with the tournament nonetheless continued into next day; we watched two games and then participated with some of the families in some evening swimming pool fun at the team hotel. My good opinion of these players continued. They spoke politely to adults, answered questions clearly and of course appreciated comments coming from this old grandpa-type. They were so eager to talk about their game. One boy shared his sadness about his goal not having counted, which I remembered seeing too, apparently one of their players in goal crease. It was an error of the referee, and I so sympathized with him 😌. 

Now my learning experience. As most of my readers know by now my thinker usually kicks in. I was impressed not only by the quality of on-ice hockey, but the clear eyes and respectful conversation of the whole group. I confess I have become a bit inattentive to kids sports in the last number of years, a bit dismissive possibly because these activities are accessible only for kids with rich parents. That is true, but full credit must go to these parents of means who invest in the required discipline of early bedtimes, early get-ups, practicing, listening to coaches, and the huge miracle of teamwork. These are valuable life lessons so important these days. If they do not learn it in organized sports their wonderful energy can waste away in front of televisions or video games. These are probably the only ones who make it to professional sport (unfortunately).

Needless to say the age of these kids was a bit of a gimme. Eleven year-olds are in that prepubescent age where the comments and opinion of adults are still quite important to them. It was such a pleasure to be in presence of kids and parents (and grandparents) obviously on same page on that one. Looking back at a considerable stretch of parenting I am under no illusions of course - and neither are the readers here - but there is a sizable Life lesson available for us all. Once upon a time many years ago I was a Bible School student, and one of the Bible verses assigned and duly memorized comes to mind. My brain has it in the old King James Version, but the New International Version puts it like this. Even with slightly changed linguistics I like it a lot.

Start children off on the way they should go, and even when they are old they will not turn from it (Proverbs 22:6).

And about those professional teams referenced above. Sigh! The better team won and will go on to Stanley Cup finals. Sigh again.