Ending Well

³ And I heard a loud voice from the throne saying, “Look! God’s dwelling place is now among the people, and he will dwell with them. They will be his people, and God himself will be with them and be their God. ⁴ ‘He will wipe every tear from their eyes. There will be no more death’^[b] or mourning or crying or pain, for the old order of things has passed away.” (Revelation 21:3-4)

I remember this very day last year. I recall being slightly miffed at myself, supposedly in retirement, yet still the workaholic I have been all my life, and wondering how to use my time wisely going forward into 2021.  Well, that year is now history; need I say more? The above scripture from that final book of the Bible suggests apocalyptic endtime things, and many binary conspiracy theories and predictions on precisely that theme have flourished during this past year in this pandemic. Amazingly the parousia not yet, providing interesting vantage for just plain old moving on into the year that follows!

My wife and I, in our usual morning time, read a devotional in Rejoice, the above scripture being point of reference. April Yamasaki, the writer for this week, notes the possibility one day, death, mourning, and pain will be done (:4). Yes, we know that. Today, however, April provides a refreshing go-to perspective. I quote, “as I finish this writing project, I already have a new one waiting in a file folder on my desk [obviously this woman more organized than I am]. But I’m not in a hurry to get to it just yet. Instead, I’ll pause, give thanks for what is good, and live fully in this moment. I won’t worry but rather pray a blessing over you, dear readers and then move forward…” (Vol 57, No 2. p 41). This is a needed message for this guy already spinning his wheels to get at some stuff postponed because of cold weather, coronavirus, family issues, etc. etc.

A little survey of past year may be in order. My writing project for 2021 has moved. The aforementioned book, however, is not even in preliminary form. The ‘good articles’ of bygone trucking years which were to be part of that crafty effort, are still in safekeeping thanks to my computer’s ample storage capacity, so my son reassured me at Christmas time! The movement, or at least some measurable progress, is in this 'department of blogging.' I am pleased with continuing opportunity to write. I enjoy reflecting on and writing about events and ideas which I consider significant not only in my life, but also on that larger topic, the day to day passing of Life - kronos we used to call it in seminary. The number of readers’ hits is increasing, often with helpful responsive comments coming via email, Facebook, Messenger, and most enjoyably, even the occasional phone call. Note, I do not post all on public platform; some of my thoughts probably not helpful to foist on the uninitiated. Discretion. 😔 I find blogging to be personally therapeutic; grateful am I for this avenue of communication with some very significant groups of people ranging from longtime hometown friends to leftover trucker friends to retirees my age, some of them colleagues from years of pastoral ministry, and even some academics with well-earned doctorates in tow! I am blessed with this great variety of readers.

Furthermore, I am in communication with those on other side of this guild. Even as I try to downsize my library I regularly purchase and read the books completed by my friends - and occasionally reference them in my blogs (You’re welcome. 😉). And even furthermore (??) my experiences in some volunteer church work has tempted me into an interest which seemed of even greater importance than those 155 articles from back there - and into another round of grieving. Yes, I made another effort at a languishing D.Min program which I thought might be resurrected in retirement – turned down! Too idealistic apparently for an old trucker preacher. 😖  “Forget it. Give it up. You’re retired”, so I was told.

2021 has been a hodge podge year contributing considerably to my lifetime wintertime SAD challenge. Needless to say, my family has perhaps the bigger portion of challenge in this, putting up with this slightly moody, occasionally opinionated dad, who nonetheless loves them all dearly and we know it. The corona challenge in here also for all of us to face together; so far so good. My body is fairly fit and healthy, and I am learning to let the learning curve continue even as I reflect on opportunities perhaps slipping by, and the meaning of John 21:18 gaining a bit of traction, “someone else … will lead you where you do not want to go.” Some learnings are happening not quite as per my plans.

There are also some empty spaces in that group around me - yes death has made a few calls this past year, and as displayed in several posts (The Preacher and the Boys, Feb 15; Sentimental Friends, Dec.13) has contributed to the important topic of friendship. One of the responses to the latter blog yielded this nugget. “My grandpa always said, keep your old friends but always have room for new ones.” (Doris Daley, cowboy poet, a dear friend in our church).

After rereading that last New Years blog, I must say it was still kind of task oriented; things I was hoping to accomplish. The year ended as it did. Kind of different by now, time indeed moving on. With gratitude I receive April Yamasaki’s meditation, “give thanks for what is good, and live fully in this moment.” Rudyard Kipling in the famous poem “If” makes similar reference to “sixty seconds worth of distance run.” Two other significant people come to mind. My mother would say quite peacefully after occasional twists of circumstance, “It is what it is.” And one of my above-mentioned book writing friends, at end of his intriguing memoir of work in prisons with inmates and church volunteers and the courts always on theme of restorative justice, concludes in a most unassuming way, “… and so it goes.”  

Yes, so it goes. I look forward to a modest resolve of many things in 2022.