Accidental Neighbors

Here follows what I would call a seasoned article. It has sat in my computer “writings” for a while - wrote it about two years ago. Upon rereading it several times last couple of days I discovered I cannot ignore it. It’s about a friend of mine - interesting guy. His faith is both unique and ordinary. I am intrigued by his vantage to ‘doing’ things, different than many of us who do things only because of routine or carefully considered and planned for such and such reasons, etc. etc. –  along with budget implications of course!  As neighborliness, churchiness, interfaith and political morality and pandemic recovery is front and center on my mental and spiritual burner these days (yes, my thinker 😐), I offer this little piece as something germinal – perhaps of good use to myself and to those of you who read here.

 

August 27, 2019

 

ACCIDENTAL NEIGHBORS

We were a group of men, all gathered at the home of one of us. Peter is an extraordinary guy, a young retiree who has many involvements including, together with his wheelchair-bound wife, parenting three energetic young adult sons, participating in church life, managing neighborhood activities, etc. 

This was a second meeting which he has felt inspired to call; breakfast at his house. “Why not”, he says, “Costs you 16 or 18 bucks just to sit at a restaurant and talk about nothing.  Here no charge, and you may get to actually talk about … something.”  Good point Peter.  Last time three of us showed up; this time fourteen!  Peter was elated, thanked us repeatedly for coming and occasionally looking at the swelled numbers, “Be careful what you pray for”.  LOL.

At the risk of over-indulging my penchant for theologizing beyond the necessary, one additional thing.  In his openhearted and humble way, Peter tells us that "not all had come." He also had invited his soccer friends. Just a bit more description of those friends revealed they were brown skinned, nicest friendliest guys he has ever met, and if they had come “maybe then he would have backed off on the pork chops.”  Aah, Muslims. Then from comments in the group I interpreted they "wished that they would have come” but from some of the red neck comments I had just listened to during mealtime I’m not quite sure that was genuine. This group of cowboys probably were not of the fully inclusive kind. After all this is Calgary! Had those other visitors joined us we would have told stories and visited well, but probably backed off on religion. 

After the hearty breakfast with lots of mini conversations all around the outdoor table, we enjoyed Peter's short unassuming meditation about Kindness with a few Bible references like Prov 3:5-6; Eph 4:32; and Lk 10:29-35. In short order we were sharing deeply – some even tearfully – about times and places we had kind of screwed up exactly on that point, and yet received grace, forgiveness, personal learning, etc. We were kind to each other, and it was so good.  [Now I confess to one huge oversight. None of us offered to pay for all the eggs, pancakes, coffee, pork chops, etc. Lord have mercy; we shall fix it next time!] 

I am persuaded that right here is the crux of what is especially needed these days among people of faith, be they Albertans, Newfies, Americans, or even immigrants or refugees.  Fellowship is so important – especially the spontaneous variety like this large generous invitation – and also important to invite Samaritans, and even those who attend a different church than I do!?! 😜   This is the new challenge, the new opportunity of the day.

 

Yes, written two years ago. Some things are different by now. At present, as a retired preacher I am honored to represent the Mennonites on Calgary Interfaith Council, fully involved and fully stimulated with Muslims, Mormons, Catholics and Ecumenists and Evangelicals and B’hai and Unitarians of all stripes – all of us regularly grateful for the Indigenous land we are settled upon. Something about Peter’s pre-pandemic breakfasts rates as the best preparation I might have had for this next chapter of life in these world repopulating reacclimatizing faith rebranding days. Joke told at a recent meeting:  After Adam and Eve got removed from garden of Eden, he turned to her, “My dear, we are living in an age of transition.”

So What's New?

I used the phrase in a recent post; "so what" ("Good-Lifers," May 10, 2021). It was my slightly plaintive way of asking the question about things possibly learned by all of us thanks to our recent pandemic lifestyle. In other words, what are we doing with new knowledge gained after digital worship services or webinars or Zoom meetings or chat sessions? I'm afraid the answer is "not much."

I attended in person worship this last Sunday. It was a hybrid, with both in-person and on-line options available. Worship leader was one of our techno-savvies, live streaming provided by one of our techno-experts, and sermon by our techno pastor. The 'in-persons' gathered? You guessed it; it was us oldies who prefer sitting in church as we have done for decades, a habit not yet broken even after last year and a half of staring at screens. A few children and one young person - offspring of the hard workers. After church the senior citizens drove off in pursuit of the other pre-corona habit, lunch at a nearby restaurant. Nothing new here. Lunch to the tune of $20 - $25 per person no problem! Church budget may be struggling but as yet old patterns still in place.

So what's new? Nothing much also in my other diversion - the hockey world.  We still pay the gladiators to kill each other while hockey fans spill beer over each other. It's NHL Stanley Cup Playoffs! In a couple weeks one team will hoist the Cup for all the world to see. In the American cities - to whit Vegas or New York or Tampa Bay - it's almost 'back to normal' again. Hockey has returned to the delirium of in-person fans instead of tarpaulin covered empty seats. 

Playoffs round three, semi-finals. My expectation (hope?) for a kinder-gentler series seems already nixed. Tampa Bay Lightning and New York Islanders game two ended in a brawl even though the coaches are best of friends. Back to hockey I guess! And playoffs are always rougher tougher, like a new season with only the best allowed. Players worth their ilk need playoff experience; so say the talking heads - Kevin Bieksa, Kelly Hrudy et al. Now it's back to plexiglass rattling front seat fans announcing their in-person presence like kids in their playpen. One fight featured a full grown middle aged inebriated spectator yelling and making faces at the player (can't remember whom) getting pommeled. Wow, what maturity! It's as though the old devil of previous lifestyle is back. We're still the idiots who entered into corona season a couple eaons ago. I smile at a couple of my idealistic positive thinking blogposts about a year ago, hinting at possibilities of civility thanks to this sobering pandemic (Eg."The Civilizing of Hockey," September 19, 2020). 

So is it just me? Although occasionally affected by moodiness, I think this observation stands. It's not just my moodiness. [Okay you can beg to differ if you wish]. I am in midst of a true-blue disappointment about my fellow human beings. Indeed I had positively, optimistically, humanely (naively?) predicted a nicer gentler perspective possibly in the political, the community and familial environments after this pandemic got done with us. Read some of those heartfelts (Eg. "Corona Community," April 3, 2020 or "The Stretch," June 28, 2020). 😞 Apparently Real Estate markets are a good indicator of what drives local economies. Modest houses like mine are going like crazy I'm told because people who can't afford a house will try to bite into ownership because prices and interest rates look affordable. Ah, familiar old fashioned values. Real estate agents probably lining their pockets just like they have done in previous years.

Bottom line here, I am back to the opening question, "so what?" As life returns to some degree of normalcy; as many have complied and many defied protocol, along with the bleating of opinions in beginning, middle and post-pandemic, who had it right? As churches and sport coliseums reopen doors my bet is firmly on at least one thing, and I find that in the Bible, "Not everyone who says to me Lord Lord will enter the Kingdom of heaven" (Matthew 7:21). We still have things to learn. We also still have things to unlearn. 

God is not done with us yet. Fortunately for us, that also is nothing new.

Blessed Belateds

It is now five days after my birthday. I have never been one to put great emphasis on birthday parties. In fact my anxiety level usually goes up the several days before, just hoping that my wife or kids not be fraught with undo efforts in that direction. In my mind birthdays are but another day, the one day a complete number can be calculated/claimed in the passage of time! Even from this rather simplistic perspective I do, however, appreciate one practice way back in my family of origin - simple Mennonite farm family with many kids. Lord have mercy on any one of us who thought we might have a birthday party for only that one! But, and I say this with deep sentiment and appreciation, the birthday kid got to sit on a pillow! And somewhere in course of the meal (can't even remember whether it was breakfast, dinner, or supper) we might sing a raucous version of happy birthday. There you go. That was it. On with life and the next pillow birthday for the next sibling in a few weeks or a month or...

So now social media provides a little tweak of familiarity for me. I appreciate the Facebook initiated greetings which come my way - each a window on a relationship which is a reassurance of connectedness with people who have been there and still consider it worth their time to "pass the peace" even if it was only the computer which provided the reminder. It's so easy, and so special - a bit like a momentary sit on the pillow! 

It is this ordinariness, this valuing of simple almost non-celebration which leads me to a new insight - and it could well be a spiritual discovery in this new modernity. 😀 I admit I am even slightly extra touched by the handful of greetings beginning with "Happy Belated" or "Sorry this is late but ..."  These have been the occasion of quite the tender exchanges. My inner being immediately gets it. Somebody is before me in genuine transparent desire, actually facing themselves or facing me with the greeting even though 'the big day' just slipped by. Special prize to my youngest son, totally in character, on the day after, on my cell while I'm driving, "Sorry a day late dad, but happy birthday." Very readily this dad will pull into nearest available parking lot and receive full dose of that blessing. 😚

Hey, my latest birthday was only the day that made it a complete number of years since my birth, and now we're moving along. And thanks for moving along with me even in the 365 minus 2 or 3 until it comes again - if I'm still around.

I think it is thanks to my large family's simple beginnings that now in the twilight the simple greeting here or there is a blessing beyond compare. Thank you all for the birthday wishes. They mean the world to me!